detox

lets start from the beginning, thats as a good a place as any, right. Ok so the boring details first, 7pm on friday is practice. the whole week we've been talking about going to the bar after practice, so everyone is talking about how excited they are to go get hammered in the woods at this bar. I'm thinking its a small, hole-in-the-wall place off the road someplace. (I was hugely mistaken, but i'll get to that detail in a minute). after practice we all shower and meet at one of their friend's houses for his birthday/pregame for the bar party. Johst, this is for you buddy, you wanted to know what i was thinking and i told you it'd be in here on monday. all these guys play soccer, so i've already got the Phi Psi vibe going before i even get there. so it was no surprise when i noticed that most were wearing trendy, way-too-short-to-even-be-considered-a-sleeve'd t-shirts about 2 sizes too small while all the baseball guys had on regular t-shirts/sweatshirts/buttondowns/polos. and the phi psi similarities dont end there; no, this is the i'm-just-waiting-for-tommy-vaughn-and-soyer-to-come-out-of-the-closet-together icing on the cake. We (the baseball guys) are all throwing back rum and coke (cola or pop for all you northern folk) or beer trying to get hammered before the bar and i see they are sipping on Bacardi Razz and Sprite. I honestly thought Lacass was going to pop his head around the corner and ask if anyone wanted a Cosmo. so you can rest tonight knowing that soccer players and baseball players are the same in Germany as they are on DePauw's campus.

So we jump in the cars and take off for the bar. we're driving away from town for about 10 minutes when we take a left between two trees. I cant be certain because it was dark and i was already drunk, but im pretty sure it was a dirt road. 2 rights and a left (all dirt roads) later, the trees opened up to neon lights and the sound of Akon. Apparently a black french guy owns the joint and im pretty sure he and Kevin Costner heard the voices in the corn field because no one in their right mind would put a bar that far out in the sticks. but he built it and just like in the movie, they come. this place was packed to the gills with kids barely old enough to see over the steering wheel to get there and 20-somethings looking to have a good time. the middle of the bar is sunken down-the dance floor- and there are tables perched up around it for people to sit at and watch the debauchery of the young, drunken teenagers. and while i did manage to get down in the mess and cut a rug with the kids-some 9 years my junior- i spent most of my time inWild Farmers Cove. like any respectable drinking team with a baseball problem, the Wild Farmers make their home right up next to the bar. Technically we were in the way of people trying to check their coats with the bartender, but this cove was perfect for 10 guys who just wanted to get drunk and not talk to anyone but who they came with. the more and more i'm around these guys, the more and more they remind me of the DPU baseball team and ATO's for that matter. it has not been difficult at all meshing with these guys because they are so much like my friends in the states. and like my friends in the states, they pick the worst shot and make it the drink of the night. the shot of choice on this particular night was vodka and liquorish shnopps. They were awful and i cringed when i took all 7 of them-they told me i didnt have to drink it...but how can i turn down a free shot. they called them 'black shots' and for good reason...I dont remember the ride home from the bar, but i was told that i was dancing in my sleep in the car. All i know is that i had the presence of mind to set my alarm for 11 am on saturday and i came home with everything i left with.

Saturday was supposed to be our day to put the backstop up on our field- but everyone was hungover or still sleeping at noon, except the softball team, so we put up their backstop instead. I say we, and i really shouldnt, they did everything, i just sat back and watched. I was the self appointed Foreman on this job- but i did touch a rake...carrying it back when 'we' were done. after a tough day of working on the field, a bunch of grease and a nice frosty coke are just what the doctor ordered. There is a Burger King just down the road so we hopped in the car and Had It Our Way. i went with the #4 with a coke, and much to my surprise, though i didnt realize it until the end when i was chewing on it, there was ice!

Germany is a country rich in tradition and Dohren is no different. When a man turns 30 he is expected to have a wife and on their way to a family. if one is not married however, his 30th birthday is a town-wide celebration. It just so happens that Johst's 30th birthday was Sunday and celebrated in grand Dohren fashion. the festivities began around 10am when we met Johst at his house with a few "presents." Johst has a...i dont want to call it hatred; i dont think he's racist, but he just really doesnt like Turkish people or anything to do with them. so there was a turkish flag on a baseball helmet and a bag of chips that were flavored in Turkish spices. He was also given a pair of spandex and the jersey of his most hated player in baseball, a guy by the name of Lange, #4. (i guess he is a real dirty player and pissed in our dugout once) there was also a sheet that he wore like a wedding vail that said something about being a scared bride, or somehting like that. so dressed in all his "presents" he had to wheel himself around town on a broken motorcycle pulling a wagon of beer while we paraded around him drinking. in past decades, this is when all the women would see him and know that he was the towns most ellegible bachlor. tradition has it that after riding around town, everyone meets at the town centre and the man must sweep the streets until he is kissed by a virgin, at which point he can stop. the Modern day version, bags of sawdust and wood chips were spread out on the ground and he was to use a toothbrush. at about 20 minute intravals he was given a push broom with the stick in 4 hinged pieces, a broom with a roadcone as a broomstick, and lastly a broom where the broomstick was a bunch of wrenches held together with nuts and bolts. after about an hour of watching the little kids jump in and kick the piles that he swept up, a young girl who i dont think was too keen on the idea, (her parents made her do it i think) finally came up and kissed him. so then it was back to the Dallmann family farm for lunch and more drinking. the latter is really what is was all about and i did more than my fair share of it. there was beer, whiskey, rum, and these shots that they kept giving out like it was candy. all i know is that i woke up in my bed at 10pm not knowing how the party ended or how i got home. I called up Johst and he said the party was still going on so i got up, put clothes back on, hopped on my bike and took off for round 2. it was a much smaller crowd than before, though just as loud. when i walked in everyone started cheering and giving me high fives- people that i dont even remember seeing there earlier (though my memory of the afternoon has to be taken with a grain of salt). apparently i threw up twice, and had to be picked up by Antje, who took me home and put me to bed. against my better judgement, i started drinking again. in round 2 there were conversations about german music and bands ive never heard of, though i talked about them like i did, an arm wrestling tournament, fucking around with a calf, and me trying to talk everyone into going to get food at 2 am.

all in all i'd say it was a successful weekend and one i wont soon forget, though i dont remember most of it. and in other news, day light savings started sunday so now i am 7 hours ahead of you in the central time zone.

A- "in the drunken whirlwind that was this weekend, I agreed to get up at 5 am tomorrow and help Henrik put a roof on his house" Ron